In Loving Memory

It’s been a few weeks, hasn’t it? When I last posted, I was once again on my way to California to spend time with my Nana throughout the final days of her life. Four weeks later, I’m back in DC missing her, remembering her and loving her as I always will no matter how much time goes by.

A strong-willed fighter right to the very end, Nana stayed with us nearly a full two weeks longer than even her nurses and doctors ever thought possible. This included several entirely unexpected days during which she was frequently alert and able to communicate, never hesitating to let us know how much she loved us and that she understood we were there beside her, giving her all the affection and care we could, just as she had always done for us each and every day of her life.

Without a doubt, the past few weeks and months have changed me as a person, forcing me to grow in ways I never imagined. In doing what little I could to help care for Nana, I learned that one of the hardest parts of watching someone you love battle a terminal illness is accepting that no matter what you do, it is never enough. Yes, you can try your best to control the pain and offer temporary comfort, but the disease is still ultimately more powerful, and your efforts incredibly limited.

Although there were definitely times I couldn't help breaking down, I also managed to maintain my composure during several especially difficult moments, including the morning of Oct. 9, when Nana passed away at home with my grandfather, uncle and I there to care for her. Never having lost someone extremely close to me before, I fully expected to have an impossible time coping with her death and the events that followed, but every step of the way, I felt as if I had her strength inside of me and her spirit in my heart, pushing me forward and helping me to stay strong in spite of the grief and sadness I felt.

Now, as I begin easing back into my daily routine, I’m looking forward to carrying on with the things I love, just as I know she would want me to do. These include focusing on my writing, taking in the height of the fall season here on the East Coast, and planning for future adventures that will allow me to keep living a positive life while at the same time keeping her memory alive. 

What have the past several weeks been like for you? I missed reading your blogs during my time away, and I thank you all tremendously for your heartfelt messages of love and support. I'll be back with some new posts and blog updates beginning this Friday, so stay tuned. Until then, I wish you each a positive, love-filled week!

Keep Me In Your Heart…

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever. 

~ Winnie the Pooh

As I go through life, I’m forever reminded that time is precious and fleeting, and never is that more true than today. After five months of courageously facing down Stage IV cancer, my dear Nana experienced a decline in her health over the weekend and is expected to have just days to live.

As I type this, I’m getting ready to head back out to California with the hope of seeing her one last time, and am trying to take comfort in memories of the weeks I was recently able to spend with her over the summer and of the nearly 29 years of friendship and love we have shared.

Image Source: Alex Neumann Photography

There is so much more that I want to say, about her courage, her strength, her beautiful spirit, but I just don’t have the words right now. Thank you all for your ongoing friendship and support, which mean more to me than you know. If you can, please keep my Nana and family in your thoughts and hearts throughout the coming days.

Love and peace, always. 

Hawaii on the Horizon

A celebratory fall trip to Hawaii? Yes, please! While Stephen and I had originally talked about vacationing at Disney World or in Puerto Rico this year, his parents recently surprised us by announcing their decision to host a family trip to the Big Island in honor of their 40th wedding anniversary.

Not only am I incredibly excited to spend a full week exploring areas we only got to visit briefly during our honeymoon cruise a couple years ago, but I also love the fact that we’ll be traveling out during November – usually right around the time that colder weather starts to set in here in DC, leaving me itching for a little extra  sunshine and warmth.

Visiting Kauai during our honeymoon in June 2010. 

We haven’t officially lined up any activities as of yet, but a few things topping my wish list are to try my hand at stand-up paddle boarding, go hiking at Volcanoes National Park, and maybe even sneak in a bit of whale watching on the side, if it’s not too early in the season. Either way, I know we'll have no shortage of fun ways to pass the time! 

Have you ever been to Hawaii? If so, what’s your favorite island/activity? 

From Seaside to Mountaintop: Northwestern Retreat Recapped

Well, hello there! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Even though it certainly seems that way to me, I can also hardly believe that summer is quickly fading and that fall is already in the air here in DC. After nearly a month away – first traveling to Seattle for a low-key visit with friends and then back down to Southern California to spend more time with my family – it’s definitely taking me a while to feel caught up and back in the swing of things.

Nevertheless, I’m slowly but surely finding my groove, glad to once again spend time working on my novel, getting into shape for our upcoming trip to Hawaii and watching the inevitable election-year fever descend upon our nation's capital. Of course, I'm also excited to start blogging more regularly again, beginning today with a photo recap highlighting my recent adventures out West. 

Beautiful views of Puget Sound as seen from my friend Ted's balcony and beachfront sandbar in West Seattle – the perfect place to spend a week reading, relaxing and enjoying temperatures in the 70s and 80s. 

The Seattle skyline, complete with a glimpse of the iconic Space Needle. 

Sipping a watermelon margarita while catching up with Gianna and Bridget, my best friends of more than 15 years, at Alki Beach's Cactus. 

"Three Pines Cabin," where the girls and I spent a fabulous weekend exploring Mt. Rainier National Park just a couple hours outside the city. 

Hiking at and around Mowich Lake, where I felt quite proud for making it all the way up to the Mt. Rainier lookout point, despite a mostly uphill two-mile trek. 

The lovely Narada Falls, accented by a shimmery rainbow at the base. 

Posing inside the trunk of an ancient tree in the Grove of the Patriarchs, home to thousand-year-old towering giants and primeval-looking ferns. 

Have you ever visited Mt. Rainier or had the chance to explore any other national parks? I enjoyed my time in and around Seattle so much that I know I'll definitely be heading back again sometime in the future, maybe even as early as next year!

Remembering

After nearly a month-long summer blog break, I’ll be back tomorrow to recap my recent trip and share all that I’ve been up to these past few weeks. Today, however, I’m simply looking out my window at the Capitol dome rising in the distance, and remembering. 

Image Source: All Women Stalk

Love and peace, my friends, today and always.