As part of my “So What! Wednesday” post a couple weeks ago, I wrote about the fact that I still have other things I want do before babies come along and “take over my life.” My longtime blog friend HiLLjO responded to this statement, making the excellent point that while a baby may change your life in every possible way, that doesn’t necessarily constitute a complete “takeover” of all your free time, or a loss of your individuality.
While I know everyone’s personal experience is different and that no two women view motherhood in exactly the same way, in my eyes, at this particular time in my life, a “takeover” is exactly what I fear might happen were I to have a child. Yes, I’m sure there are plenty of women who, especially with strong support systems in place, can find the right balance even from the very start. But I also know that there are women who, especially during the months right after their children are born, claim to barely have time to use the bathroom or sit down, let alone schedule “me” time and work on personal projects.
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All of that said, even though I think I do want to have a baby someday, I'm hoping it won't be until I reach a point where I’m ready to focus a little less on myself, my husband, and our individual goals, and a whole lot more on a devoting myself to caring for a child. And since I'll be turning 30 later this year, I do also realize that it's time to start nailing down some long-term decisions sooner rather than later.
What do you think? Does having a baby often mean at least a partial loss of your identity and freedom as an individual, or am I misinterpreting things completely?